Frozen

Photo by Anna Louise Jiongco 

I am adjusting to disbelief. The field is frozen. We are changing. We remind everyone of everything, and last year I didn’t feel so good. This year, I do feel much better. Under ice, things wait for their chance, miserable feelings then good ones. We are the ones set in stone, but that doesn’t matter anymore, a flint stone situation.

My memory tangos with a bear, events merge into miserable consciousness, mini aspirations (something about making music) and venting, massive depression, my vehicle somewhere distant in Hampden. A change each day. Doing the basic things in a tired state, I no longer await the announcement of some victory, but stick around for a surge of creativity, ice with fish swimming below the surface, their lives spent doing only what they can. I imagine a person, a nice person for a change. Readjusting, if not yet trusting.