Yeah. I like being with them. They are great. I love them.
The thing is you move down the street. And seeing the same people over and over and over. . . . Do you need to stop always? Or can you keep going? Because you know what? (What?)
You're not going to break any new ground with them. In fact, it will be a lot of the same things. Just so . . . hey you know what would be really cool? (What?) If we did not have eyes! Then if we were walking we would not have to interact at all. But then I guess you could hear someone's presence. So what about the girl with fluffy black hair and the really white skin and how she was soft and her face was sad and beautiful last night when she was talking to the smelly punk dude? Who cares . . . you could not do anything—why do you get the love feeling first? THAT IS NOT LOVE! To observe and be in the presence of a girl is not love; to get nervous as fuck or not do anything and let the punk dude prattle off life-erasing banalities to her (because you cannot speak to her and pull her away from him) is NOT LOVE. I don't care anymore. She is moving in a trajectory, and I of course do not need to be any part of her journey. I think I can just keep moving down the lane on my own. What I see is what I get: visuals, visuals; sometimes a feeling of closeness. But you felt nothing real from her. You did not even get one second in which to know her. Well, stop that part. Intuition and instincts did pick up some things but what they picked up was not at all clear. You grow up moving down the lane. Stop moving down the lane. Stop growing up. Act and think not of all that stops you. Don't act. Let her decide your part. If you have a part. Or attempt a part and see if she reacts. Whatever. This is boring. She is not boring. You can get the sense that she has been discovering things in life and in art maybe. Yeah. She probably commits her time to some kind of art. That's it. We both do that. What else can we do? How she lives physically is probably so beautiful and amazing. What and how she comprehends and muses even more so. Who ever in any day or any night receives such good things from life as these connections with a person to whom one is attracted without cause or reason? I can tell you, you can have most everything else.
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